December 10, 2008

a stalker i am

did u ever in a state where u r so curious about someone??
and that some one is your loved one..
to be specific..

u admit that u r cool with her but instead u r still have that deep feeling of love to her,a very deep one.. very-very deep like a curse.. that emerged in every inch of your very tiny little cell.. that lie side by side and cover up whole of your little heart.. that you feel heavier day by day you go through without her.. that disable you from having a crush for other girls..

that lead to yourself and make you wouldn't able to spit that love word again to anybody...

yet she was beautiful.. so damn beautiful in your eyes.. that heat up a competition between you and others guys..

and to be more specific.. she loved you the most! treated you like prince.. have faith in you and have no intense in other guy in line which are better than you that begging for her..

and to make it pathetic you let her down.. and you both are no longer together.. because of your clumsiness and stupidity..

you try to act cool and let the flow go by.. acting like you both are cool with it..

(the best part)..
she still love you..(she says la).. just loosing the trusting part that she put on you.. that make you feel that you are a complete junk and waste that she could never afford to have you back in her life.. and that hang you to a tiny little rope that contain 100 percent hope!! to an end of a hundred years old tree height more than you can imagine.. pure and natural hope!! without extra chemical addition.. and below your feet is a natural fresh short little grass.. swinging to the sound of wind waiting for you.. to fall!!!

you admitted your fault, begging and asking for forgiveness so hard.. mending those tiny little rope.. holding so tight.. hurting your hand..

ever since your separation you watch and sneak into her life quietly.. see her progress with other guys.. check whetter she's got the same feeling as you.. wondering if she still got the love towards you.. still keep that hope you used to built with her.. still remembered those sweet moment you got with her.. that haunted you like crazy when you are alone.. watch if she ever smile for other guys.. if she ever really want that separation, did she happy with it.. copied all of his new pic.. still keep her pic as your wallpaper and hoping she do the same.. hoping she's not invi her YM status from you.. and hoping that she will feel the absent of you in her life like you are feeling so hard right now..

if u ever feel and do it..

yet you are a stalker..


a stalker i am..

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